#spoilers for Duty beyond death adventure

[cultural-marsism1]

They deserve a shock blanket and all the hot cocoa in the world

[imperator-kahlo]

Soooo I've been having a lot of very disorganised thoughts about Isseya and I want to talk about her but like… not about the Gloom Howler, or at least not primarily (except to say that holy hell, the like visceral dread I felt as I proceeded through the Cauldron and it became increasingly clear that I could think up as many stupid alternate theories as I wanted but the Howler was definitely, unavoidably, certifiably about to turn out to be Isseya, fuck).

So, Isseya. Spoilers for Last Flight and Mass Effect 2 and 3 below.

I'm fascinated by choices like Isseya's in fiction: choices where there isn't a right choice; circumstances in which a good person might choose to do something that is beyond the pale—and perhaps still be right to choose it. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that I'm fascinated by what they do afterwards.

I was thinking about Mordin Solus a lot when I read Last Flight. He is one of my favourite Mass Effect characters, and he is a genocidaire. An unrepentant genocidaire, particularly in ME2: he has his regrets but he wouldn't do anything differently. He is a man of science, and all the scientific modelling pointed to a single conclusion: the uplifted krogans were an existential threat to galactic civilisation. And so he did something unforgivable to limit their population growth.

And look, this is some minority report shit, an absolutely heinous act, I'm not defending it. But I also think that, while tribalism is evil, we do have moral obligations to our family, our friends, our communities that go beyond the moral obligation to treat people more distant from us in the way we'd like to be treated. These decision points—when your obligation to your people is in direct conflict with your obligation to another people—are fascinating to me.

(Before it went spectacularly off the rails, The 100 was full of these decision points.)

I think the greater tragedy of many of these decisions is how they're looked back on, remembered, integrated into the story the surviving society tells about itself. The sorts of decisions modern, real-world political and military leaders make don't fit into the framework I'm describing here—truly existential threats are rare, wars waged by the West are colonial adventures dressed up as humanitarianism. And even so, even when the right and the wrong are so much clearer, we in the West rehabilitate our war criminals. The US public was so on board with the My Lai massacre of hundreds of Vietnamese civilians that only one of the American soldiers involved was even charged, and that charge was commuted by Nixon. Kissinger was embraced by political elites on both sides of the aisle until his death. People lose their absolute fucking minds when you point out Churchill's crimes. In my country, Australia, the highly decorated soldier Ben Roberts-Smith has taken basically a reputational hit for murdering Afghan civilians, and huge swathes of the country still refuse to admit he did anything wrong.

It's my firm belief that once you make a decision like that, even if you didn't really have a choice, even if you did it for all the right reasons—again, not a situation we encounter in real life—it is your duty to make sure you're never in a position to do so again. Because it will be easier the next time. And because metabolising your actions as justified, righteous, acceptable is absolutely toxic to your society.

It sort of inevitable that an individual will, over time, rationalise the decision they made. It's psychologically protective. Either you find a way to justify it to yourself or you lose your mind. But you have to fucking quarantine yourself, because your society is going to want to rationalise it too. And that shit trickles down. It makes it easier for the next person to make a worse decision in an even less fraught situation.

Mordin didn't exactly become a pariah. But he made his decision and then he never looked away from it. He processed it emotionally—compare Mordin and Maelon—and never let guilt destroy him, but he never looked away. He left his position of political and military influence and opened a free clinic on Omega. Every year he went back to Tuchanka to document the tragic, visceral, ugly consequences of what he'd done; he never let someone else do that work, because it was his responsibility. His choice. And the moment he saw that reality had diverged from the models he trusted so implicitly—that there was even a chance that Krogan expansion might not mean death for the rest of the galaxy—he undid his own work and gave them that chance.

The Grey Wardens as an organisation sort of embody this whole question. The order does what is necessary to end the blight, period. Sacrifice, murder, blood magic. Nothing is off limits, because the blight is a rare example, even in fiction, of an actual existential threat, not to any one people but to life itself (Veilguard complicates this a bit because the blight in Ghilan'nain's hands is alive and generative, but it is a form of life that is so antithetical to the sentient peoples of Thedas that it might as well be death). The blight and the darkspawn kill people, but they also render the land unable to support life. If ever there was a justification to do some spectacularly heinous shit, the blight is it.

But justification doesn't change the fact that the heinous shit is corrosive, to the people who make the decisions, those who carry it out, the institutions they belong to, the society that houses them. The Grey Wardens aren't just tainted by the blight; they're tainted by the legacy of dark acts committed to save the world. I think it's important, then, that the Wardens largely disappear when the blights are done. They're heroes, sure; people are grateful. But their stories aren't told in any detail, their leaders don't return to their nations to take up positions of honour. They're quarantined.

(I was horrified by the fact that the Warden-Commander in Awakenings becomes a political player. And I wish Veilguard had picked up some of the threads laid out in the novels and comics—of the First Warden explicitly playing politics to the extent that he's ruling the Anderfels in all but title, and some suspect he's angling for the title, too. What does it do to Thedas if the Grey Wardens, with their necessarily shady moral code, become shapers of a nation's or nations' morality?)

Isseya's story, then, is the best outcome one might hope for and even more tragic because of that. She did something awful, and it will never be whitewashed or justified or framed as not-that-big-a-deal-because-after-all-she-saved-the-world! Nobody seems to really grapple with why she did what she did—the Wardens were losing the fourth blight! The First Warden gave the order, sure, but I don't for a second believe she would have followed that order if the situation had been less dire. Her brother, Garahel, the great hero of the blight, pressures her to blight more griffons, but it's her legacy, not his, that's blackened.

Evka isn't talking, here, about Isseya's final sacrifice to take the taint in the last clutch of griffon eggs into herself so that they might be saved for a future in which they would be truly valued. What Isseya did then will be forgotten. What will be remembered is the awful, unforgiveable, necessary thing that Isseya did before that. Garahel remains a hero; Isseya was, is, and ever will be a pariah. And that's right. That's the whole point of the whole moral framework I've been ranting about.

And I fucking hate it.

Edit: I guess I do want to talk about The Gloom Howler Thing, too.

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[mochiimiiki]

| Act one: Possibility |

[Xiao x F!reader]

[Pyro vision reader]

Summary: Feelings are something of a concept, humans determine their meaning and everyone else simply accepts. But what if he has no concept of emotions and you’re in denial? What becomes of it then?

Warnings: spoilers for xiao’s story, angst, violence, blood, slow burn

A/N: first time writing a proper fic sooo be nice! also italics are being used for past events!!

Masterlist

- - - - - -

Your encounter was an accident. A mistake, a flaw in the matrix. However, It was a memory you held onto even after all of those years. Staring across Dihua Marsh, your mind couldn’t help but wonder, wonder all the way back to the vigilant yaksha. Whom refused to converse his name. His real name.

It was in the depths of night where the demons lurked, and as an adventurer you often encountered such mutated creatures. It was not your duty to defend the land nor protect the innocent from the midnight stalkers. Yet, you felt obligated to. Perhaps it was a form of misconception or the chivalry in which your father had brought you up with. Nevertheless, you found yourself stalking a possessed abyss mage. In hopes of vanquishing it before the mutant could perform damage upon any civillians.

The moon guided you, luring you to where the beast crept. Through squinted eyes, you could just about see a sleeping village a few hundred metres from where you stood. Determination pumped through your veins, urging you onwards with a singular goal; vanquish your opponent.

In the brief moments that you were distracted the target had vanished. Frantically, you begun searching. ‘Where’d it go...?’ You breathed to yourself. Fear creeping along your spine and infecting your mind.

Suddenly, a cryo shot sent you flying back into a rock. Your back hit it with a thud and the wind was knocked from you. Dazed it took you a moment to adjust your senses. As your vision became focused you quickly rolled out of the way as another cryo shot narrowly missed you. Reaching for your bow you aimed at the abyss mage.

You scoffed. A cryo abyss mage? The fight would be over in no time. Your bow charged quickly and you launched your attack. You jumped with glee, You’d hit the shield directly in a patch you’d grown accustomed to know as a weak spot. However, as the steam cleared from the melt combination you realised you’d done little to no damage. The unsettling anxiety seeped it’s way into your heart once more. “I-Impossible!” You declared, to no one in particular. “I hit you!” The abyss mage let out a low chuckle. It’s sonar voice vibrating off of the trees and rocks that littered your midnight hunt. However, you realised something was off with this mage. Not only was it’s voice an octave lower but a strange black mist eminated from its being. Was it possible this was the kind of creature your father had warned you about...?

Before you got a chance to react the abyss mage launched you backwards once more. This time you landed in the soggy pits of the marsh. You blindly fumbled with your bow attempting to ignite it with your pyro element. However, the dampness of both yourself and the weapon caused evaporate. You silently cursed. No, no, no! This couldn’t be happening not now, not when you were so close. Repeatedly you tried again. Only looking up as you heard the familiar chuckle of your enemy.

Squeezing your eyes shut you begged Rex Lapis to not let your life end so soon. You had so much to learn! So many places to be and you still had to find the truth of...

You thoughts came to an abrupt end.

Suddenly, a gush of wind sped past your face, in turn your eyes shot open. It was just in time too, as you witnessed your saviour.

In the moonlight his hair appeared dark grey and his clothings multiple shades of silver however, black and turquoise mist eminated off of his being. Your eyes widened in shock as one blast of his power shattered the cryo abyss mage’s shield. “EVIL CONQUERING!” He cried throwing it back into the same rock it had once thrown you into.

Pulling enough energy from your damaged body you limped over to your saviour. “You saved me!” Exclaiming in delight. “How did you... no I should be thanking you! Thank-” Yet, before you could continue your praise a final blast of cryo hit you from the dying mage. Falling to the ground you felt your senses dim. Blurry vision caught sight of your masked hero finishing off the job only to finally pass out. A deep, charcoal black enveloping you in an everlasting grip.

- - -

Upon awakening you had found yourself placed in a bed in a familiar building. One you had only viewed on the outside: Wangshu Inn. Clambering out of the comfort of the bed you stumbled to the doorway.

A violet sky was clear from the room in which you occupied. Dim stars twinkled as a rouge sun dawned. You stumbled over to the balcony, confusion clouding your thoughts and erroding the pain.

You collapsed onto the railing of the balcony, thanking the red painted wood for the sturdiness it granted. You glanced out across Dihua Marsh. It’s landscape accentuated by the red light from the dawning sun, her face glowing brightly and guiding adventurers and monsters alike into the unknown.

“What are you doing?” A low voice growled behind you. Instantly you jumped from the disturbance to the peace, immediately after regretting it as a sharp pain jolted through your side. Glancing down your eyes settled upon a bandage wrapped around your waist. You realised the only material shielding you against the harshness of the cool autumn morn was the bandages that started at your chest and ending at your waist. Instantaneously a flush crept over your face and along your neck. “Y-You did this? Pervert!” You shouted, a finger pointing accusingly.

For a moment the boy appeared taken aback before scoffing. “First of all.” He growled taking a menacing step towards you. “I didn’t do that.” He glanced down, taking another step. “Second I saved your life, so even if I had you should have been grateful.” Another step. “And last of all, it was the Inn keeper who helped you. You can thank her later.” He was inches away from you, his brows furrowed in irritation and it was clear your comment had irked him.

You swallowed thickly and uncomfortably. You pushed against his chest, attempting to create distance between himself and you. However, he remained rooted in place. Whether, or not he intended to intimidate you or was simply setting straight facts you were unsure of.

Eventually, he acknowledged your efforts and with a grunt stepped backwards. You tried to steady your thoughts, and clear your mind. Up until now you’d been thinking irrationally and it had ended with you in a critical state.

You opened your mouth to speak once more when with a dismissal of his hand the man spoke first, “Unfortunately, there are other matters that require my assistance. If you’ll excuse me.” Though he seemingly asked for his departure you knew that it was more of a statement than a request. “W-wait!” you cried suddenly, grasping his wrist as he leaped onto the railing of the Wangshu inn.

The man stared puzzlingly at your hand, almost in a way that suggested he’d never been touched by a mortal before. “I didn’t ask your name.”

“I go by many names.” The figure retorted bluntly, an action that caused your hand to retract and your face to drop. With a sigh he spoke once more, his tone etched with a little less aggression. “However, you may call me vigilant Yaksha Xiao. Or for short Xiao. Should you ever need my help, or cannot face killing a monster call my name. I will aid you.”

With that he vanished before your eyes. Taking on the form of shadows and fleeing into the Abyss.

- - -

Staring across the Marsh now it appeared so different. Not only had it been two years since your return to Liyue but it was also daytime upon your arrival, a splintering summer sun sparkled brightly amongst the leaping clouds. It suddenly occurred to you amongst your reminiscing that you had never gazed upon the marsh in the daylight. To bestow it the title of breath taking was an understatement, to simply put it, it was exquisite. How the summer rays of light bounced across the murky waters of the marsh and that they illuminated the once gloomy surroundings. It was a sight to behold, it was beyond enchanting as it bewitched its onlookers and lured them to an untimely death.

“Ma’am?” A voice called for you, intruding your thoughts. She gave you a gentle smile, one you knew was plastered on to appease customers. “Your room is ready madam.” She spoke so softly that had you been immersed in a conversation with another you may not have heard her. You exchanged a polite nod as she led you up the stairs of the Wangshu Inn.

Despite your absence from Liyue for two years the Inn had not particularly changed. It was still lined in the same ruby red railings albeit faded to a salmon blush. And it had the same wooden floors, that creaked and squeaked ever so slightly under foot.

“Here is your room, I hope you enjoy your stay.” Quietly excused the girl as she departed. Leaving you standing alone in the doorway to a room too large to fit a single person.

Hauling in your luggage you flopped down onto the bed. The scent of Fresh linen tickled your nostrils, a particularly summery smell.

As the night progressed you had departed from your room and explored a little more of the grounds belonging to the Wangshu Inn. Fully satisfied with your miniature expedition you retired to the cafe and settled in for a long night.

- - -

The evening wore on tranquility reflected in the expressionless faces of the Inn stayers and keepers alike. As the café grew quieter you had taken it upon yourself to mark out your journey on your map. Small red exes marked the spots of your previous journeys, and although you wanted to pursue the land of the unmarked you had unfinished business to complete in Liyue harbour. Tapping your pencil on the page as you pondered your next move a shout caught your attention. Your quiet night had come to an abrupt end when a face you believed you’d never set your eyes on again appeared before you.

It was the dead of night. The only two souls that remained in the lobby of the Inn were you and the owner’s wife. When suddenly, a third party joined.

In stumbled an extremely battered and bruised man. His hair was knotted in scruffs and a deep gash seeped into the skin in his chest. With a startled cry the woman behind the reception desk ran to his side.

You stared in horror into the cat like eyes of this man. A flash of a familiarity flickered in them, in a brief possibility that he recognised you a bubbling emotion of hope fluttered in your stomach. However, the feeling was all but short lived as his eyes fluttered closed and he collapsed, toppling to the floor. Completely unconscious.

[brawltogethernow]

So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.

I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.

Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.

I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.

A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It

That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.

Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--

Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.

For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.

Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.

Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.

DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.

So why does it work?

It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.

The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.

(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)

And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.

Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?

That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor

The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.

I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.

The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”

Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.

Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.

One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.

It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.

It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.

Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.

Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.

It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.

Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again

This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).

Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.

Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.

How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!

Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.

*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING

The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:

It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.

It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.

Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.

Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.

Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.

It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.

Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!

Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.

It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.

IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.

[davidmann95]

sooo... the snyder cut's out

I liked the Snyder Cut. This sucks.

Me thinking about this movie, apparently

Do I think it has revolutionized superhero cinema forever? Nah, if nothing else it mostly plays it too unexpectedly safe for that. But this was evidently always going to be his version of a straight take superhero teamup adventure after BvS, and as it turns out, he’s really good at that? There’s a better version of this that trims at least half an hour of pure bloat - and I don’t mean ‘inessential’ character beats, strictly redundant exposition - but by and large this is a terrific meat-and-potatoes superhero flick realized with the sweep and style Snyder brings to his work. There’s a ton of stuff I could nitpick, and its biggest sin is it loses momentum over time because Snyder clearly used literally every single thing he had filmed regardless of utility, but by and large this was a fun time. Assorted notes (where I get into spoiler territory) below:

* Why wasn’t the weird Motherbox opening credits sequence kept? They showed it off just a few weeks ago!

* This is very Morrison JLA in that only the junior members of the group get character arcs, and fairly bare-bones at that, but everyone gets their Big Iconic Stuff. Except oddly Batman, who shockingly gets short shift here while Superman in his minimal screentime is as much a sudden 180 “hey here’s just regular ‘ol Superman now” as what we saw in 2017.

* Flash’s opening setpiece was the best of the movie by miles, a jaw-dropping realization of that power and the necessary delicateness that comes with it that’s one of my favorite moments in any superhero media period. His big time travel moment was nothing to sneeze at either. They never explain where his powers come from though?

* Steppenwolf is actually pretty damn fun in here as a guy who’s in-universe a fake final boss who’s really a put-upon self-loathing failed lackey.

* (Darkseid meanwhile sucks and is nothing but that isn’t surprising.)

* This looks better all around, obviously the action and composition is gorgeous and even Flash and Cyborg’s dopey looks are considerably more tolerable, while Superman’s black suit helps cover a bunch of the noodly nonsense.

* Yes, this is better than Whedon’s version. Not exponentially so, at least for my tastes - Batman of all characters felt like he had a lot more going on in that - but I’m loathe to give it much credit, and I think a lot of relative strengths it had were purely due to it keeping leaner.

* I’m not clear at all why WB felt the need to damn near remake the thing when this was so very much Snyder playing nice, other than maybe no one could figure out how to wrangle down the runtime comprehensibly? I certainly can’t fathom how the assembly cut was reportedly declared ‘unwatchable’ by producers.

* No, the Martian Manhunter stuff makes no fucking sense whatsoever, but it’s worth it because his presence means that the last words in Zack Snyder’s Justice League are Martian Manhunter, which is incredible.

* At heart it’s no more a sequel to MOS or BVS than what Whedon did beyond the raw fact of progressing the plot: this isn’t a meditation on power or politics or duty or vengeance beyond the thinnest of notes with some of the side characters, it’s a bunch of cool superfolks putting aside their personal problems and learning to believe in themselves/each other to save the world from a big bad thing, even if it still operates in the broad thematic realm of “life snatched from death” prevalent in both versions.

* It’s consistently at its best when it’s Snyder getting to go buckwild with the powers, imagery, and pure vibes; the character work is fine and the actors all do well enough, but the point here is this is Snyder setting up Space Superhero Lord of the Rings with impossible beings operating on a grand scale.

* I kind of wish it had the manic unselfaware energy throughout of the opening Wonder Woman sequence where she saves the kids as in the theatrical cut, but the head terrorist says fuck, Wonder Woman’s clearly killing them all...and at the end she smiles and gives an earnest girl power line to one of the hostage kids right after disintegrating a fool in front of them. It would be a worse movie, but an even more entertaining one.

* The Batman/Joker scene is perfectly fine, and while it would have been better for this movie unto itself if the reshoots had been used to tighten some stuff up instead I don’t begrudge Snyder for going that extra mile to ensure folks absolutely fucking demand he get his sequel (I know he says that’s not why he did it; he is transparently lying). Affleck sells his f-bomb.

That’s pretty much that! I think the purpose of this movie as Snyder conceived it was to win over rubes like me without alienating the true believers to get the leeway to do JL 2&3 however the fuck he wanted. And god help me, especially with the worst possible avenues closed off to him I do want to see what those would be, all the absurd operatic bombast of BvS as applied to a big cosmic superhero epic functioning from what we’ve heard in the more straightforward mode of operation established here. The fandom force of will both joyful and horrific will be there in spades, so I guess it’s a question of what kind of numbers this does.

[clarkesrifle]

Title: The Forgotten Day Pairing: Levi Ackerman x nb!reader Warnings: None, no spoilers Genre: Fluff Word Count: 2.2k Summary: The Survey Corps had no time to remember birthdays -- it was a miracle that anyone knew each other’s name, really. Imagine your surprise when you found a crudely-wrapped item with your name on it on your forgotten day. Ko-Fi | Requests! Notes: Unedited, written when I was lonely.

The Survey Corps had a high turnover rate, as was natural with the profession. How many had died since its establishment? Were any of them remembered, or was all that was left of them was a tiny inscription within the seemingly endless book of those that died in the service to humanity?

Birthdays were unimportant. For some, remembering that comrades were human beings with families, lives, and histories made their duty too difficult. It was decidedly easier to ignore those things. Comrades, at the end of the day, were a means to an end. A partnership doomed to fail. It was easier to forget about them when you didn’t know their important days.

It was hard for you to grasp at the beginning of your tenure. Despite your family’s economic status within the walls and regardless of your experiences with your birthdays, you found it difficult to trust the people around you when you knew so little about them.

Where are you from? Have you seen a titan before? Why did you enlist? Have you killed one before?

Sometimes, it was difficult to discern whether your friendships were born out of genuine care for each other or rather the respect that was necessary to function together as a unit.

Captain Levi had intrigued you from the start -- so many rumors about him lingered throughout the walls. He was a bonafide celebrity and a mysterious one at that. How many families told stories of him? How many children’s nightmares were soothed by the mere mention of his name?

You remembered the first time that you had ever seen him -- the Scouts marched through the quad on horseback, passing through Shiganshina’s marketplace. You crawled on top of the fruit stand’s fabric canopy, feeling it dip underneath your weight. You were so small then, it feels like.

Levi walked his horse into the quad, directly behind Commander Erwin. How could so much strength and resolve lie within such a small body? He didn’t strike you as overtly handsome at first glance. No, your appreciation for his appearance grew slowly over your years wearing your wings.

Admittedly, the years that you did remember your birthday were lamentable. Days off within the corps were few and far between, and when your birthday didn't matter, you couldn’t exactly do anything for it.

Your body felt as though it was about to explode; training only grew more intense the longer that you were enlisted. You supposed this burning pain was worth it -- the Scouts couldn’t risk any more people than necessary, and the best way to prevent deaths was extreme preparedness.

Your squad leader, the infamous Levi, pushed you harder each day. Keeping your cool, both physically and mentally, was difficult whenever he was around. Impressive was the least you could say about your captain.

He seemed peaceful whenever he trained, as though he were relaxing lakeside -- you allowed yourself a quick moment to picture Levi lakeside -- without a care in the world or a titan to slay. It was mesmerizing to watch him use the ODM gear; it was as though he were performing a beautiful and intricate dance.

Much to your chagrin, he ordered you to clean the muck from the stables and care for the hooves of the horses following training, a task that would surely take you hours. Levi, in all of his mysteriousness, was particularly anal about cleanliness.

Being alone with your thoughts was particularly distressing on your birthday. You couldn’t help but wonder about the people you’ve lost -- how many birthdays had they lived? How many more would there have been? Why were you given the privilege to live when they were gone?

For some faces that lived behind your eyes, you regretted not knowing them more. You noticed with anguish that many of those faces lost their sharpness in your memory, the years replacing their features with blurs and blobs.

The moon was rising by the time that you finished your appointed task. Your lower back throbbed, your calves screamed as you climbed the stairs towards your lodging.

Your room was perfectly modest -- only a bed, a dresser, and a desk were provided to you. The pillow was flat; you were not the first nor the last to use it. The blankets were made of a course and itchy material but did its job well enough.

Blinking, you noticed a horribly wrapped item sitting upon your bed. It seemed to be covered with the same paper the captains write correspondence with, tied with twine. Written on it was your name in nearly illegible chicken-scratch, but still, it was your name.

“Um,” you mumbled under your breath. Sitting before the present, you undid the complicated knot with your calloused fingers. Inside lay a book; it was leather-bound, old, possibly expensive. The inside of the wrapping paper had a small note written on it, which read: It's your birthday. Congrats on not getting munched on for another year.

You gasped quietly. It was your first birthday present in years, possibly ever. After the initial shock had worn off, you hungrily opened the book, skimming through pages after pages of incredible drawings, information about a world you'd probably never see.

You flipped back to the beginning, noticing that whoever gave you this gift had left a small note just under the first chapter heading: I keep hearing about the world outside of the walls. Thought you might be interested.

Closing the cover, you held the book tightly to your chest. Thank you, you thought to yourself.

Hearing Armin speak of the sea intrigued Levi. Throughout his life, he had never allowed himself to think of the world beyond the walls. By the time he went on his first expedition outside of them, he could only think about titans.

He had first noticed you upon your entrance to the corps. Erwin had given a rousing yet truthful speech, as he did at every graduation. Levi stood offside the stage, taking in the group of cadets that had stayed.

The Captain had long become used to seeing the fearful faces, the determined faces, the strong, the angry ones. Yours, however, intrigued him.

You looked resigned.

You looked incredibly aware of the sacrifices you would have to make, the people that you would lose. You looked so painfully aware of the trials and tribulations to come. It seemed as though you were the only cadet that understood the reality of being a Scout.

So he pushed you. He knew deep down that he pushed you harder than the others. Levi had even requested you to be apart of his squad. Erwin had looked at him with curiosity at that, only Levi, who could read the man better than anyone else, could see it.

It had been Erwin who had first noticed your feelings for your squad leader. You had been subtle, truthfully, and only a man as detail-oriented as the Commander could see.

He had noticed it after you delivered tea to his chambers, where he, Levi, and Hange were having a meeting to discuss the budget for the next quarter. You had lingered a mere millisecond when you handed Levi his cup, skin grazing against each other so gently. Levi had been surprised at just how much he felt at that slight touch, how much heat erupted on his hands.

You did not stay long after that, wishing Hange a goodnight with a gentle squeeze to her elbow -- Levi was unaware of the friendship that you two had.

Levi glanced at his Commander, who smiled over his teacup, looking pointedly at him. "What?" Levi asked. Erwin shook his head, a low chuckle coming from him. "What?" Levi asked again, impatiently.

"Nothing," Erwin replied, a soft smile gracing his features. "Just don't let yourself get too distracted, Captain."

He refused to elaborate.

Hange was the next to notice. You volunteered your extra time, particularly on your loneliest days, to help her with various experiments. Most of the time, you were on standby, looking out for Erwin. It was very clear to you that these experiments were largely unapproved.

Levi visited Hange's laboratory one day, a ration bar in his pocket. You may not have noticed him slip the bar into your bag's pocket, but Hange surely did.

It had taken plenty of prodding on the scientist's part to get Levi to admit a certain level of care and affection for you. You had been hurt slightly during an expedition. It was nothing serious, and yet the Captain insisted that you stay behind on the following day's adventure. You had fought tooth and nail to convince him otherwise, which landed you a day's worth of paperwork for insubordination. He strategically picked the following day, forcing you to miss the mission to finish the massive pile of work that was needed in a short amount of time.

"Y/N'd just be dead weight," Levi grumbled to Hange after she had cornered him. "I'm not going to babysit someone just because they got hurt and were too stubborn to heal."

Hange scoffed at her shorter friend. "It was only a twisted ankle, y/n was cleared for the mission immediately."

"I'm not going to risk another brat being killed because of a stupid, unhealed injury. That's final." Levi looked below them, taking in the four-meter titan underneath them. Easy.

He triggered his ODM gear, rearing his arms backward and slicing forward at the beast's neck, grinning as the nape fell off of it towards the ground. The titan fell, mouth agape, onto its side. Landing onto a tree limb, he scoured the forest floor for more.

Hange was not far behind. She landed beside him, intent on harassing him until she was satisfied with his answer. He rolled his eyes. Maybe it would have been less of a hassle to keep Y/N in the game. Babysitting didn't seem as awful as being stalked.

He hadn't meant to overhear Armin one night, but the conversation intrigued him. The sea. A forest that not even with fifty gas reserves could he traverse. Small pieces of white, cold fluff falling from the sky like a gentle rain.

A strange warmth built in his chest -- he could picture it all easily, but he couldn't picture any piece of the world without you being there with him. Levi wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He had crashed into an abandoned home after slaying a titan. He needed a moment to refill his gas tanks, and he needed a place under cover to do so.

Levi had landed in a library. Books covered most of the floor, the walls, the tables throughout the room. Besides the dust, the new debris, and the vines growing into the building, it seemed as though life had been suddenly paused and could start again at any moment. Strangely, he felt like he was intruding on something.

He found himself drawn to a book, hidden at the back of a shelf. The books that had once been in front of it had been thrown to the ground in the mad dash to escape the titan-infested city.

The spine of the leather-bound book had a portrait of a snow-capped mountain imprinted into the material. A mountain. He hadn't heard of one before he had overheard Armin that one night.

It had been covered, hidden.

Illegal, he realized. Interest built in his chest, he grabbed the book and flipped through it quickly, looking at the intricate drawings. He thought of you.

Slipping it into his waistband, Levi left the library through the way that he came.

Shamelessly, Levi dug into the records in Erwin's office long after the Commander had retired to bed. Y/N L/N, he read, yanking the file out of the cabinet and searching.

Six months away.

He made a note of it before slipping the file back into the cabinet and pretended he never did anything at all.

In the days leading up to your birthday, he found himself busier than he had expected. He had hoped to wrap the book days in advance, but life never turned out how he wanted or expected. He waited until after training and bought himself time by asking you to clean the stables and care for the horses.

You were just as fastidious as he was when it came to keeping things clean, something he was impressed by and thankful for at this moment.

He hadn't the time to go into town to buy proper wrapping, so he improvised.

Being a soldier was about improvising a bad situation into something better.

Something better was wrapping the book in stationary. "It looks like shit," he mumbled to himself. He attempted to save it by tying it with twine, but he looked out of his bedroom window and saw that you were already heading back towards the barracks.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, he thought to himself. Undignified, he ran up the stairs towards your bedroom -- which he knew was yours based on how pristine it was -- and dropped the book onto your bed without much thought.

The next day, he watched with a rare smile as you read in the mess hall. Happy birthday, brat, he thought to himself. He took a sip of his tea, savoring it.

He wasn't sure if the warmth in his chest was from your appreciation of the gift or the heat of his drink.

[thehonestreader]

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Rating: F

It’s been years since Orisha had magic, years since the Raid occurred and King Saran’s army swept through the land, leaving every maji dead in their wake. Since then, Zelie and her family have managed to scrap by, always fearful that one day they won’t be able to pay the diviner tax on her. If that happens, she’ll be arrested and sent off to a labor camp that will likely lead to her death. Such is the fate of most diviners, the children of maji, now. It’s one day when Zelie goes to the market to get more money to cover this tax that a desperate girl grabs her and begs for her protection. From that moment, Zelie’s life will take a turn. Now, tasked with the overwhelming responsibility of bringing magic back to the world, Zelie and her friends will go on a dangerous adventure to undo that damage that was done so long ago.

--

This book has only done one thing for me and that’s to remind me why I stopped reading YA books. Pretty much everything I don’t like about most YA books is condensed into this one story and notched up to eleven. I struggled so much to just fight and get through this. I practically had to force myself to pick up this book and read more than ten pages at a time because I wasn’t enjoying it at all.

It’s been a while since I’ve given a book an F, which means it’s back to the bullet point review style since I refuse to write a paragraph for every single one of these issues.

1. The writing is so bland, especially when you consider that this is a fantasy novel. I expected so much more. More characterization, more world building, more rules to the magic system, more detail in general. The writing is the source of all of my problems. It’s the main hub and everything I mention after this just spirals from it.

2. These are cookie-cutter characters. There’s not a single unique one in this bunch. If you’ve read any mediocre YA book, then you’ve seen these characters before. They’re dull, they’re lifeless, they don’t have much going on beyond the surface level stuff.

3. All character voices sound exactly the same. The chapters are split between Zelie, Amari, and Inan, and if it wasn’t for their names being at the beginning of each chapter, I’d have no way of telling them apart.

4. The plot is painfully predictable. I saw every single major plot point coming from a mile away, and knowing how this story was going to go step by step for over 500 pages was absolute torture for me.

5. Dumb things happen to get the plot where the author wants it to go. As soon as a character would make a dumb decision, I knew what was coming. This ties back into point #4, but the fact that these decisions are so STUPID adds it as its own bullet point. Example: Zelie and her gang only have five days to get somewhere vitally important to their mission, but they stop to have a party. Because plot. And then the Bad Thing happens because they stayed. Oh no! Who could have seen this coming???

6. Character motivations and decisions make no sense whatsoever. Or they change constantly and are never explained in a way that’s believable or satisfying. That’s if they’re even explained at all. I have a ton of examples for this because it occurs all the time, but I’ll use the moment when Zelie has a chance to share the scroll’s magic and turn the people around her into maji. She thinks it’s the greatest idea ever until, uh oh, for some reason it’s not anymore and she doesn’t want to do it because magic is dangerous. But if you feel that way, Zelie, they why are you still trying to bring magic back to the whole world?

7. The “love” story. Oh my god, the “love” story. This might be the worst relationship like this I’ve ever had to experience in my life. It’s worse than any insta-love trash piles I’ve seen in the history of all terrible insta-love stories. It takes a less than a page. A page! This was the point in the book where I took the longest break in reading because I just couldn’t anymore.

8. Amari’s whole character introduction is extremely flawed. In her first chapter not only are we introduced to her, but we see her being spurred on by the death of her best friend and stealing the magic scroll. Amari is the epitome of what goes wrong when authors tell instead of show. First of all, I don’t know her as a character when she does all these things, so her decisions make no sense to me. And all this stuff about Binta should have been in separate chapters at the very beginning, that way I could actually see the relationship she and Amari had instead of just hearing about it afterward. That could have made Amari’s actions feel less fake when she steals the scroll. But no, all these memories of Binta happen after she’s dead, and I don’t feel the emotions the author wants me to feel since this is about some character I never even knew. And worse, Amari comes off as whiny because of it.

9. A majority of Amari’s chapters should have been given to Zelie. They’re together the entire time, and most of the time when Amari is narrating it feels like the reader is missing out on something. Especially when it comes to the magic and the mythology of this world. I don’t want Amari telling me these things because she doesn’t know anything to begin with. If Zelie had been narrating those chapters it would have been an easier way to work on defining this magic system.

10. For the first half of the book, Inan’s chapters should have been condensed down or just cut completely. He says the same thing every single time. “Duty before self. I force my magic down. Kill the girl, kill magic. Curse her and her silver eyes.” Nine chapters of this. So unnecessary.

11. The ending doesn’t make any sense at all if you take even one second to think about it. This is the only place I have spoilers so skip ahead if you don’t want to know how this story goes. So at the end when Zelie and her gang go to the magical island, Saran and his army are already there. But...how? It’s not said that Zelie gave him the location of the island. And even if she did, why would she not warn her allies that he’d be waiting for them when they got there? And on top of that, Saran managed to capture her father in less than a day and transport him to this island? How? HOW? Mama Agba should have seen that coming, no? But she’s mysteriously absent because...plot. Nothing clicks and it’s the final nail in this coffin for me.

I think the author had good intentions but she couldn’t execute. She talks about why she wrote this book and how seeing news about the murders of people like Mike Brown and Philando Castile made her feel angry and helpless. I absolutely applaud her for wanting to speak out against institutionalized racism and the murders of people of color at the hands of cops. And I’m glad that diversity is finally, finally getting into main stream books. It’s been too long and it’s great that books with POC characters are getting their time in the spotlight. But I’m not going to praise a mediocre book just because it has diversity and was written with good intentions. I’m not going to hype this up when I don’t think it deserves that hype.

-Review by C.M.

[ladyvader23]

An Analysis Of "Missing And Presumed Dead" by HeartofStars

This was submitted as a submission, and honestly, as an author, I have never felt so honored. I do not cry, but I cried. To know something you’ve written has touched someone so much to write such a lovely, in-depth, super thoughtful analysis of it without being asked or forced to by a teacher... I’m completely blown away. 

I felt that HeartofStars put so much effort into this and it really touched me so I’m reposting, if only for my own self to look at in the future. 

And to my readers, thank you. I’m just writing because I love the drama that is the Skywalker family. If it brings any sort of enjoyment, especially during the insanity that surrounds us, I’m happy to share. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you know, I’ve been reading your wonderful story Missing And Presumed Dead since around the end of October, and have gushed at you about it in the comments and on Discord ever since. But instead of just squeeing about it for the millionth time, I thought I’d do something more: while I wait to find out whether Vader will indeed find Luke in time, I’m going to analyze just why the story is so good, using all my knowledge of film, media, philosophy, and Star Wars canon.

Ultimately, Missing And Presumed Dead is so good because it does several things well: it creates tension and conflict almost effortlessly, it places the idea of characters before plot without dragging down the plot,and finally, it is not only perfectly compliant with the characters the way they are in Star Wars canon; unconsciously or not, the story actually delves deeper into the characters, creates emotional moments that make us cry, and heightens our love of these characters.

For those who haven’t read this amazing story–and WHY haven’t you?–many, many spoilers follow.

First of all, let’s tackle the “characters before plot” issue. Before I dive into this, I want to make clear that I am in no way saying that Missing has no plot, or that plot is bad. It is chock full of plot, in fact; but the important thing to note is that the plot, first and foremost, is incredibly simple. In stories, the simpler the plot, the better; and the more the audience(the reader) can keep track of it and what is going on. Missing does that, and it also does something else: the hook is strong. A question often asked of screenwriters or filmmakers when pitching a story is, “Could you describe it in one sentence?” And in this case, the answer is, “absolutely.” In one sentence, the story is: following the events of The Empire Strikes Back, Luke is so determined to keep Vader from pursuing him that he fakes his death. There are other things wrapped up in this:

Does Leia know? Answer: Yes. She helps Luke fake his death.

How will Vader respond? Answer: Terribly.

But the reader will find those out as he or she goes along; maybe those questions are at the back of our minds already. They may even drive our interest in reading the story. But regardless, we only need that one hook: Luke fakes his death. That’s enough.

So we’ve established that you create a simple, powerful plot; and from there, what you do is essentially to good storytelling. You put the characters first. You allow them to drive the plot, instead of the other way around; and that, in the end, is what makes it so addicting to read. Luke’s selflessness is what motivates the plot point of him being captured by Black Sun. Leia’s love for her brother is what drives her to travel to Dagobah. Darth Vader’s twisted love for Luke and desire to get revenge motivates him to follow Leia to Dagobah, which in turn leads father and daughter to learn the truth of their relationship…and so on and so forth. Character motivates plot, at every turn; and yet, simultaneously, the plot is never forgotten. It is never “loose,” to use the term; the plotting is tight, leaving no room for plotholes, and yet there are none. (Much as I love the story, I did look for them.) Character and plot are woven together seamlessly, keeping us attached to the story and begging you to know what happens next.

Following on the first point, Missing And Presumed Dead uses this intermingling of character and plot to create intense conflict and tension. Seriously. I’ve read the comments, and everyone–including me–is BEGGING for another update as soon as the chapter is finished. That’s a sign of great writing! As the “guru of screenwriting,” Syd Field, says in his now-famous book on screenwriting, “drama is conflict.” And you sure love your drama. But there are two kinds of conflict that this creates; for the sake of this paragraph, we’ll focus on Darth Vader’s character. In the Hero’s Journey, there are two types of conflicts: internal and external, both different forces working on the character. The external forces are the easiest to create; they’re in the plot. Some of the external forces, for example, are Luke’s apparent death and learning that Leia is his daughter. But what drives him to take action in first trying to get revenge for Luke’s death, and then in finding Luke, are the internal forces. For this story, those are as follows: his guilt–over what happened at Bespin, and over what he did to Leia before he knew she was his daughter–his love for Padme, turned into intense self-loathing, a desire to keep his children from this fate, and finally, his conflicting duties as Sith and father. Eventually, these external and internal forces lead him to express to Luke that he cares about him, in one of the best scenes of the story, which moves the plot forward yet again.

And this leads into my last point, which has to do with the Star Wars characters themselves. What George Lucas wanted to do, in the 1970s, was created a fun adventure film based on serials he’d loved as a kid. And, on the outside, that’s what it looked like. Star Wars looked like a “kid’s thing,” which has led people to dismiss it as such; however, that is far from the truth. Lucas made it for kids; but he also poured themes of psychology and philosophy, stories from myths and universal truths that we all believe, into the story, so that when the same children who watched it in the ‘70s grew up, they suddenly saw those deeper themes, and loved Star Wars even more. This is, no doubt, why so many of us are writing Star Wars fanfiction…but I digress. You have an incredibly deep understanding of these characters, and the philosophy behind them; and THAT is the reason why we’ve kept reading this story, and why it’s grown in popularity.

Let me give you an example. Sigmund Freud, a psychologist in the early 20th century, invented a rather disgusting theory of the relationship between parent and child(namely, father and son because people were sexist back then): that a man’s deep, unconscious desire is to marry his mother and kill his father. It is called the Oedipus Complex, because those two disgusting things are in fact the plot of the ancient Greek story, “Oedipus Rex.” This, Freud claims, is the reason behind the rivalry that exists between a father and his son. Lucas, in the Original Trilogy, at first seems to comply with that; Luke’s greatest enemy was his father, in both a physical and a psychological sense. No doubt any young men who’d been forced by their dads to fight in Vietnam felt vindicated. But then, in the following film, Lucas flipped that idea on its head; the goal of the son, he says, is not to kill his father, but to reconcile with him. At the beginning of Return Of The Jedi, Luke has a need–this is another of those internal forces–to find humanity in his father, because that will mean there is humanity in him as well. It’s like in Lord Of The Rings; Frodo decides to try to redeem Gollum because it will mean that when the Ring is destroyed he, too, can come back.

And you play this out spectacularly. At the beginning of your story, Luke is terrified of Vader, horrified by him; but there is an unconscious need to know that his father is a good person, and more importantly, that he cares about him. So soon after ESB, however, he is tormented by memories of Bespin and ruled by fear; so, even when he is injured beyond belief he still believes that Vader is a terrible person, and rightly so, because Vader has given him no reason to believe otherwise. This ties into Vader’s character; as said before, he struggles with his duty as a Sith and his duty as a father. Essentially, it is the struggle between remaining controlled and becoming free, which is the belief of one philosophy of determinism; we are unfree, our choices determined by everything else, until the motives change and we are aware that we are being controlled. Vader, due to his characteristic stubbornness and self-loathing, does not believe he can become free; he only makes further demands of Luke, trying to tell him that he loves him, yet the words do not quite come out. But thanks to Vader’s relationship with Leia–which, by the way, is a fantastic subplot I did not in the least expect when I started reading this last October, as it delves into a relationship less explored in fanfiction–Vader is eventually able to “stop being a Sith for five minutes” and really talk to Luke. I think I mentioned this moment before, but it is beautiful; it is the moment when both Vader’s and Luke’s arcs reach their full crescendo. Luke learns that his father loves him, as he has unconsciously hoped for the whole time; and Vader learns to put aside fear and Palpatine’s influence and become a father. It made me cry, and it’s a moment built on everything I’ve mentioned thus far: your interweaving of character and plot, the dramatic tension of the story, and the way you stay true to the Star Wars characters. This specific dynamic between them inspired their dynamic in my own story, Family Finds A Way, that Luke and Vader both need these things from one another, they both need to become son and father, but have no way of expressing it because they know nothing about one another.

I believe Kierkegaard said it best: “In ethical terms, Abraham’s relation to Isaac is quite simply this: the father shall love the son more than himself.” This ethical duty is what Vader achieves; and, in turn, begins to improve on his relationships with both Luke and Leia(though he still has a long way to go).

I wish I could say more about this story; I want to say more about how you nail Leia’s character more than I’ve seen before, how you weave Han into the story in a way that is both dramatic and hilarious, how absolutely funny some of the lines are, how human the characters act. But I think I’ve said all this to you on Discord to you or in the comment section; and I wanted to touch on how this is not just fanfiction, what you’ve written. This is art, and I hope you know that it has helped all of us a lot, especially in these trying times, with the coronavirus and all.

So, maybe that was waay too long, but I am not ashamed! I’ve wanted to do a meta analysis of this story for the longest time, and since I’m not on Tumblr, this is the only way I could do it.

Looking forward to the next chapter, and hoping Vader finally manages to find Luke!

-HeartOfStars

[baidar-oroq]

So I’ve been leveling Darya through the game, reached early Stormblood last night, and while playing it, I have had some thoughts on the matter of the story. Coming at random, and under a cut, so there’s spoilers there:

1. What was the point of the whole “frame the WoL for the murder of the Sultana” detour anyway?

I mean, first off, who the fuck was going to believe that the Warrior of Light would do that in the first place? It’s not like anyone DID anyway...in the story you went to Limsa and no one bothered you, hell the game lampshades it when you go to Mor Dhona. It only serves the narrative purpose of splitting up the Scions and getting you to Ishgard. It barely plays a part of the narrative of Heavensward-there’s a duty where you save Raubhan, and then the whole business is resolved in a cut scene where you’re given the deus ex machina potion to wake up the Sultana and then it’s dragons all the way down until you hit the evil elf pope part.

It feels to me like someone at some point wanted to really blow up the story and make big, significant things happen and about halfway through got cold feet, because really, 2.5 doesn’t deliver on the promise of what it could have, beyond shaking up the status quo of the Scions. And not even all of them, since that basically boiled down to “Minfilia goes to the Momcrystal, Y’shtola goes blind, Thancred can’t use magic.” Definitely feels like Square kind of backed off at the last moment and somewhere out there there’s a story that really plays off of 2.5 to the full extent it could have.

2. I got to ask how the hell did dragons evolve the way they did.

I mean, what kind of evolutionary advantage does “all their power rests in their eyes, and they can give away their eyes to others” even confer? How the hell did the dragons even figure that out in the first place? “Oh damn, my eye fell out...oh hey, look what I can do with it now that it’s out.”

I mean, the eyes of Nidhogg are a neat plot device and it was also a nice, subtle clue to what was going on when you realized Nidhogg’s other eye was yellow, but I guess I got the kind of brain that goes “even for magical animals, the whole eye thing makes no sense.”

3. Why didn’t Hraesvelgr do more to help Ysayle when she attacked the Garlean battleship beyond fly her there? 

I know, they were saving that for 3.3 where his brood properly joins the Dragonsong War, but it felt so off when he just dropped her to her death and flew off without a word. He was as strong as Nidhogg then, so he could’ve done SOMETHING. I dunno, this just rang wrong to me.

4. On the subject of dragon eyes...okay, so when I went through Stormblood on Baidar, I skipped to 60 and to Stormblood, because I remembered how bad ARR was to level through and I wanted as far away from it as possible. I’m now aware that was a mistake, but as a result, I didn’t really get why Zenos beating us like a drum was a big deal. On Darya, though, I’ve seen everything leading up to it, and man...

You’re the Warrior of Light. You have half the power of an ancient dragon in addition to your own. You just defeated Nidhogg and ended the Dragonsong War. Before you beat him, without the power of a dragon, you beat a primal fueled by a thousand years of prayer and hope so soundly that you made the man who summoned it terrified at the very notion of you. You are an impossibility, a godslayer. So, yes, it is valid that you needed to be knocked down a peg or there would be no tension in the story (for a given value: the Warrior of Light is always going to win in some shape or form since it’s a MMO and there’s always more expansions.)

But Zenos does absolutely nothing to EARN that. He just shows up, goes “I REALLY STRONG” and kicks your ass in an unwinnable fight because he’s level 70 and you’re in a level 61 or so duty. I saw someone somewhere say that Zenos is that kid who shows up on the playground and god modes, and that is the best description of him there is. They can retroactively provide a reason why he dwarfs our power at the start of Stormblood, but it still feels like bullshit. It’s bullshit that he easily beat Gaius and Estinien in Shadowbringers. (For my money, Estinien is probably the only person in the WoL’s league, and in my headcanon he’s stronger than Baidar until Baidar makes a katana out of a scale of Nidhogg, and that just evens it out.) and it’s bullshit that he’s still a threat to the WoL now. He feels like a DBZ villain, a walking power up that is just strong without explanation.

5. I was amused to see that during the whole arc with the Warriors of Darkness, the Warrior of Darkness was named “Arbert” and the character we came to know as Renda-Rae had a J tribe miqo’te name. Early draft weirdness is always fun to see. 

Also, really, Urianger, who the hell did you think you were fooling by taking off your goggles? 

Hell...someone explain to me just why Urianger had to act like a traitor anyway? What indispensable part to the plot did he play by acting like a traitor? Plus that meant twice in this game, we had someone appear with an Ascian, seemingly working with them, only to pull the rug out from under their feet. Hell, you could have ran the same plot with Urianger at the side of the Scions but constantly hiding the endgame with sending Minfilia to the First and gotten a LOAD more angst out of it. Was a strange narrative choice to me.

6. Not story related really, but Hilda is fucking adorable and should get more screen time. Someone team her up with Thancred again for adventures! 

[menphinasbow]

until death takes her light

The Warrior of Darkness had called her a fool.

He was right.

[Contains spoilers for Shadowbringers]

Urianger saw your death.

Whether or not she traveled to the First had never been a choice, as was the case with everything else in her line of duty. She was the so-called hero, the Warrior of Light, the bringer of salvation, and so whether or not she wanted to save the world was often not a question. It was a curse and a burden, even more so now that she was with child. She had been thinking about retiring even more often ever since she found out, not wanting to put the child’s life in danger, but then the calling happened. And it was, just like so many other things she had had to do, unable to be resisted.

The journey had shaken her, to say the least. To see flashes of things past, to see Haurchefant’s face again in particular... and the anguish of the Warrior of Darkness, had stirred feelings buried long ago, the guilt that she had been suppressing and tried to work through ever since. She had felt disoriented and lost in time at the end of it all, and seeing that man upon landing... the man who had the same face as the one she met when she first journeyed to the Adventurer’s Guild in Gridania... it almost felt as if she had gone back in time.

That wouldn’t have been such a bad thing, really, if it meant she could save everyone she had lost. But alas, that was one impossible deed that was beyond her.

Upon arrival at the Crystarium, she had requested a visit with their physician first, to make sure the baby not only survived the journey but was also unaffected in any way. The physician had assured her as much, but her relief was short-lived upon hearing the Exarch’s explanation as to the reason for the calling.

So… had she remained at the Source and let things play out, everyone would end up dying. Including the Scions… Khit’li… and herself. And the child.

This mission was different, now. She was not only trying to save a country or its people. She was fighting for two worlds and the lives of everyone in it. And the life within her.

The Light was blinding in the First. It was permeating every surface, every nook and cranny, offering no shelter from its punishing glare. It was a constant uncomfortable reminder of her own possible end, or worse, what she could be responsible for bringing forth into her own world. To think that the comforting Light she felt within her, the purity and goodness that she thought she was giving to the world through it had such a destructive, dangerous force if left unchecked...

She still remembered what the Warrior of Darkness had said before he left the Source so many moons ago. Forge a different path. Seize a better fate.

The path of the Warrior of Light ended only in death and sacrifice and destruction. His very existence alone had proved as much. She could fight and fight until the end of times, she could do everything right, she could be the bringer of Light… and in the end the Light would just consume everything.

So what was the point of it all, then? What was the point of fighting if their destinies were already written, their struggle a losing battle either way? If no matter what path they took it all came to ruin eventually? Darkness couldn’t be let to reign, but... neither could Light. She had continued because she didn’t know how to stop. She had continued because saving people still felt like the right thing to do, like what she had to do. 

But the Warrior of Darkness’ warning had haunted her mind since. And that, coupled with the fact that she was now with child made her think that her path was clear.

She had to stop. At some point, she had to stop. Stop bringing so much Light into her world, corrupting it in ways she hadn’t even realized. Stop fighting and putting herself and everyone she loved in danger, so she could be with her family, safe and sound once and for all. Stop putting everyone’s needs above her own and be selfish.

She had thought she would stop after losing Haurchefant, unable to see even more people die in her name. She had thought she would stop after liberating Ala Mhigo and Doma, after she had almost lost her husband. Then she had thought she would stop after she stopped Zenos, or whoever it was that was using his body.

And now the First and the Source needed her help. There was a Rejoining to stop, so many lives still to be saved.

After this, she told herself as she lay in bed, watching her husband twitch in his sleep, always anxious now even in slumber. He’d given up so much, had learned so much to be a better protector for her, to respect her way of life and still keep her and their child by his side.

After this, she repeated it like a hollow mantra, her hand cradling her stomach, just as she had done after every other triumph, knowing that she was doomed to keep saying it, perhaps until the choice was mercifully taken away from her by death itself.

[miamaroo]

Northern Migration- Chapter 29 (Notes+Preview)

It's been forty long years since I last updated. Does anyone even write TAZ Balance fics anymore? Does anyone even remember that I'm a writer, or is my brand just that pair of unnecessary bara tiddies that all the kids around the block make fun of me for nowadays? Either way, I'm still in business. And what is a new chapter if not an opportunity to give a long list of notes?

Obviously, spoilers ahead.  

Did you catch that quick little appearance of Brad Bradson? I very recently rewrote that entire opening scene in order to include a new character, which gave me the chance to reinsert Brad into the story instead of featuring a nameless OC.

See that quick mention of Bane's past? That's going to be expanded on very soon (or at least, soon by my standards).

And the new character I wanted to include is Antonia! Again, I originally had a throwaway OC in this role, but when I was writing the chapter after this, I realized the role I needed was too big to go to a throwaway OC. I didn't include the other guy (Rowan?? I think??) because I felt like it would be too much for me to properly handle. Plus, I don't think he and Antonia are a packaged deal. I'll do my best to find a place for him somewhere else in the story, but I also have had Hecuba on the backburner for way too long. She gets first dibs.

The threat Sterling gives Bane works a little better with the throwaway OC I had, who was a captain from a different city looking to take over Bane's position in Goldcliff. Essentially, the threat was Bane being replaced.

Oh, you assumed Angus was inoculated off-screen? You assumed incorrectly!

Magnus and Julia are just *chef's kiss*

I am in Team Lucretia Should Be Angus's Mom, but that only comes with the understanding that she's kinda bad at it. Which is mostly fine with Angus, as he's pretty bad at being a normal kid with normal needs.

Taako's meeting with Istus was vaguely alluded to during the flashback of how he and Ren saved Refuge (back during the Wonderland arc). He went there without Ren (the POV character), so the scene was never written.

Having Julia cross herself in front of a god is an overtly Christian gesture, and frankly, it does bug me that I had to utilize it here. I'm trying to avoid coding this fantasy world's religion with too much Christianity, but I needed a way to convey Julia trying to show respect quickly and without burdening the prose too much. So I felt a little trapped and ended up just using crossing anyways. I was raised Catholic, so there's probably a whole bunch of Little Christian Things that just pop up in my writing without me realizing so it's kinda a bummer that I couldn't find a way to work around something I know I'm doing.

Istus is just out here referring to the canonical story as an alternate reality

I try to make Davenport's comments discernable to the reader without needing a direct translation, but I feel as though I may have messed up this time around. When Istus warns that there is a terrible choice in their futures, Davenport essentially asks if this is the same terrible fate the Judges from the Stolen Century had condemned them for.  So Istus's repone ("Indeed, but I don't see your deeds as ones that are mine to judge") is reassuring as it is a little cheeky.

If you want more of Julia challenging gods with reckless abandon, read my story.

Isn't it just lovely that the prophecy fits the naming scheme of all the chapters?

I knew I wanted to kill someone in the main cast off, but I spent a long time trying to decide if I could do it without betraying everything tazb stands for. Inevitably, I decided that it's my story, and I want to take the risk. I think that it will be worth it. I am not a big fan of character death being there just for the same of being there, and I hope that when the time comes and I bring the scene I have in mind to life, you guys will be okay with it. This is chapter sort of acts as an in-universe warning so that you can start preparing yourself mentally (though it's not going to happen during this upcoming relic arc for sure). The archive tags will change as we get closer to the deed being done.

I am also doubling down on my reassurance that Stevie will be okay with an in-story explanation for her plot armor.

All the way back in January, I had made a few posts about trying to decide between the fun anachronism of a scrunchie and the fantasy-esque poncho. As you can see, I did both.

There is no possible way anyone can triumph the soul-purifying beauty of "you're going to be amazing," but damnit. I did my best, even if I only changed it ever so slightly. They have already done a lot of amazing things. And you know what? So have you! You're already amazing!

Oh, John. This is probably the most ambiguously I've written him yet. One thing's for sure: something has changed for him, though only time will tell what that thing is.

I'm claiming "Landslide" as track #2 on a NM mixtape. Don't @ me.

Lucas used command undead on Barry in chapter 24, preventing him from taking the umbra staff when he had the chance.

Lup and Barry souls are pure magic, so I imagine Barry can recognize Lup's magic anywhere.

I've been writing Barry as very depressed and slightly off-kilter because I imagine his anchor to Lup is disturbed somewhat by her imprisonment.

Despite seeing vague visions of the Stolen Century, Ren can't piece any of it together because knowledge of all those realities could ruin her mind like it did Maureen.

I imagine Kravitz was leaning against a wall when he saw Stevie run by and just sort of shrugged to himself. He doesn't quite catch how much society has changed yet.

I am half asleep right now, so no more quips. Here's the preview for the next chapter:

While Taako is all color, the Grim Reaper is a void of black. Muted traces of reds and purples make themselves known on the trim of his blanket and beads in his braids, but he doesn’t seem to need any neon hues. He looks warm, like the relic of a hazy summer day. Yet, when Taako jabs an elbow at his stomach, he yelps in surprise and complains about the cold.

“Intriguing pair, right?”

Julia quirks a brow, looking askance to see Lucretia hiding her smile behind her map. “That’s a way of putting it,” she says. “No matter how you look at it, one of them is going to get you dead.”

Lucretia shakes her head. “Be fair.”

“Sure. It’s the Raven Queen’s fault.” A moment too late, Julia crosses herself. She’s never considered herself a religious person, but after meeting one goddess, she dares not risk angering another.

“Taako, too.” Lucretia folds up the map with intention. Her robe is like a slash of scarlet, but she carries the power of it with practiced ease. On Taako, the color looks like a costume—a role he’s only playing at being. A suggestion with no foundation. Even Kravitz, in his reaper regalia, seems made to fulfill a duty. Maybe that’s why Julia wears a peasant, mud-colored cloak that reaches her knees. Beyond a red scarf tied in her short hair, she doesn’t fake having an allegiance to something not her own. “Who knows? Perhaps this little adventure together will help you realize each other’s strengths.”

Julia snorts. “Yeah. Sure. Thank you Taako for using your transmutation magic to stop the transmutation problem you created.”

“Oh, stop. You’re making me blush.” Taako pushes between them, wry words cutting through the calm atmosphere. The woods around them is quiet in a disconcerting kind of way, as if the universe wants them to know that they are crazy for approaching what all others have fled. Taako saunters ahead, twirling his glaive, He spins around lazily. He looks ready to say something when a particular snowflake drifts down before him. It’s bigger than the rest, the size of a coin. Bright and white, they watch as it floats the last few inches until touching the snow.

The snow around it sloshes inwards, spilling like sand on a beach. Except, it’s no longer white. It’s makeup pink. Seeping outwards like a spider webs, the tendrils of magic make a larger and larger circle of pink in the snow.

Everyone scrambles away, knowing without words what they’re seeing.

[the-gardenofproserpine]

Exploring the abyss

S p o i l e r s - Go watch the anime and read the manga. This part assumes you have done so. Else spoilers.

Made in Abyss is brilliant. That is the only way I can think of, to start this (whatever this is).

The world here is so deep, so ethereal, and the characters really are one with it all. Here, I'm mainly going to talk about those elements of the world and the characters. No plot, only the thoughts these elements invoke.

Hagimemashou!

The Abyss

The Abyss will come up repeatedly because it is the centre of the story, literally. Still, I want to give a sort of introduction on it.

The abyss is a deep chasm that seems to go on forever. To delve into the abyss is a dangerous task and it does have little mysterious effects on the people around it. Even so, many humans settled around the abyss and made a sort of village. The world is obviously different from what is intuitive to us, and I'm talking about the characters now, but it hardly takes any time to connect with them.

Anyway, back to the abyss. If I were to compare the abyss with something in the real world, I'd say it's space (though I prefer saying everything beyond Earth). Obviously, space is much more dangerous and enigmatic, but the abyss is something where you can easily go and do not need rockets and such advanced equipment and thus, it piques more interest for people to go in there themselves, despite knowing the dangers of it. The deeper you delve in... nothing will happen. But once you begin to ascend you face horrible consequences (from a simple headache to nausea to bleeding from your eyes) and yet people go there, searching and searching and searching. Everything, for the mere sake of curiosity.

It is later that we know that there is a force field responsible for the effects, though there are no known counter-measures. And still they keep delving in. Riko is looking for her mother but she is fascinated by the abyss. Reg's origins lie somewhere in the abyss and he feels his sole duty is to protect Riko. They dive and they suffer so much and thus you suffer, because you're attached to them

I'm changing topics so much. Maybe I shouldn't talk about the abyss. But in short, the abyss is this ethereal, enigmatic and crazy place with its own ecosystem... yeah let's go into that.

The creatures in the abyss

These are known as predators. These alien creatures that hold such a frightening aura around themselves. However, they are a part of the abyss. It is their habitat and humans are diving into it. Uninvited guests. Let's go eat them, why not.

These creatures are all quite majestic (they are designed very thoughtfully and go so well with the abyss). The true danger of the abyss is the abyss itself, but these creatures cause one to be at caution at every step. That is why what Ozen did was justified, however harsh it may be (not that I like it).

But anyway, they have their own ecosystem and live by their own instincts and perhaps have something similar to 'the survival of the fittest'. Not only that, the danger each creature poses is so different and so dark, I suppose.

The more dangerous these creatures, the less in number they are (again, ecosystem). But going back to the point I'm beating around... they are creatures of the abyss. That means they understand the abyss better than anyone else and the deeper they go, the more the know. It's the same for us humans, we do form a connection with nature on the fundamental level (we are a part of nature). However those creatures aren't intelligent; they simply survive. Looking for preys, living by themselves, just going on but living indeed. Then there are us humans who are so curious about everything (because of our 'intelligence'), we delve deeper and deeper into their habitat. For example, the orb piercer understands the force field around it (even though it's only at the 4th level) and yes it has its weakness, but in its habitat other than a few white whistlers, no one can defeat it. The white whistlers are those humans with the most determination and perhaps the most curious minds (in regards to the abyss). This makes me wonder, what is intelligence? Is it really something that helps for survival? Is it the impulse behind curiosity and learning? Is it just, thoughts? Is it really what makes us more advanced than animals if it say, dulls our instincts (like the survival of danger instinct)? Is it mean to find the true meaning of life? Even though humans are a puny part of the universe? Is it just something to acquire knowledge, and knowledge and wisdom is the true aim of living beings? When the first humans came, the Earth was as abstruse as the abyss is. Perhaps then, with the abyss being a part of the Earth, something of the humans originate from there? Some sort of connection resulting in that abundant curiosity?

And just what is intelligence?

Let's get psychological

Whom should I start with... obviously Ozen. The mentor of Lyza, the one who will probably help Riko and Reg. And she does help them in a way that is best for the situation of the abyss, even if it's not morally good.

Every driver began because of their curiosity (mostly). These intense delvers like Ozen were obsessed with the abyss's mysteries, not caring for their body for even the slightest second as they went in deeper and deeper. She is also known for her immeasurable strength (Ozen the immovable) and how she developed an intuition for the abyss. She's been alive for so long but it's impossible to tell what her age is, and she now lives in the abyss as she studies it.

Anyway, let's talk about the Curse-Warding box and Riko. She was a stillborn when she was put in the box and was thought to be dead. However that box (most probably) caused her to move and Ozen even confirmed this by experimenting on a 'monster'. Essentially, Riko is a child of the abyss. It is in her instincts to reach the bottom of the abyss and has also inherited her mother's curiosity of the abyss.

Ozen tests this child and her companion just as she tests everyone - creepy face and scary time. She attempted to even convince Lyza to not go delving, but her stubborn nature was the first think Ozen liked about her.

Ozen's creepy face (manga)

Even though she is mostly testing them to understand if they are capable are not, spending so much time in and with the abyss causes her to find it amusing. She's conducting sorts of psychological experiments on children (Riko, Reg, Lyza, Marulk) as she explores the abyss.

Now, let's get to Bondrewd.

This guy did anything  to obtain funds for his research into the Abyss, selling drugs made through human experiments on the black market, selling artefacts and relics illegally, and many other questionable acts. Some time ago he managed to steal the special-grade artefact the and used it to spread his consciousness on multiple bodies, creating the Umbra Hands (Bondrewd's group of delvers). When he became a White Whistle, he used his original body as the material for the Life Reverberating Stone necessary to make the whistle, becoming his very own whistle himself. Since then, Bondrewd became nothing but a soul moving between bodies with the use of the Zoaholic. (yes is copied from wikia. Yes I'm lazy).

The guy began to test the effects of the abyss and what not on children, completely abandoned his morality and soul and gave in to his curiosity by conducting literal vicious experiments. He even transformed his adoptive daughter, Prushka, into a cartridge for his soul transfer thing (though her sense of adventure let her go with Riko and the others.)

Bondrewd definitely conducted successful experiments, but they were horrible. So many children survived the 6th layer's curse and the became a narehate (or 'hollow') (I'll talk about the narehates later).

Now the thing about all of this is that Bondrewd and Ozen are white-whistlers. They are respected deeply by the people on the surface. They are respected for their research, but these are the people who are ready to dispose of their bodies, suffer trauma, make others suffer trauma, destroy souls and consciousness for the sake of 'knowledge'. How are they better than the creatures of the abyss who aren't intelligent and have knowledge, but are even less 'monstrous'? What good is such knowledge?

In these kinds of themes the anime gets dark, not the 'gory' scenes. If a person really thinks aout it seriously, the themes in the story can make you question yourself. What physical body, what physical existence? What mind and what instincts? What is the essence, the need?

Narehate - 'nare no hate' - 'the shadow of one's former self'

There's a lot of things to say here but I'll address (what I think are) the main points. We've got two types of narehates known - the ones from Idofront (Bondrewd's experiment) and the ones in the Ilblu village.

Mitty is a narehate from Idofront. As seen from Riko's perspective, her soul was trapped in the narehate body. She could feel but she couldn't express. She was alive, but couldn't live and couldn't die (she's even 'resurrected' by Bondrewd. That guy...). She was one of the children who wanted to really explore the abyss but became a shadow of her former self. Suffering for eternity.

This sort of tells us how important expression is. Keeping your thoughts and emotions buried inside will begin to destroy your humanity. You want death but you cannot die and you shouldn't die, waiting for the right time. The abyss basically dulled all senses and created a soul within an empty mind that somehow still felt, but could probably not really register anything. Existing like that is a scary notion.

The narehates at Ilblu are very diverse, with some even being intelligent. Once they become a part of it they cannot leave the village. They have this value system where if they want something they have to trade it with something of 'equal' value, and the values of things aren't necessarily predefined but mostly vary from person to person. It is clearly shown that the value of a human anything is very large as well as immortality (Mitty, here), and it shows how much these narehates desire humanity, how much they wish to return to their former self. It makes sense, of course, but what's really interesting is that we see the same behaviour in the 'non-intelligent' species. Perhaps their human instincts remain and similarly, because Riko is a child of the abyss (my assumption), her connection with the abyss and those instincts remain. Really, everything in this world is connected.

The last thing: The Three Sages (who created Ilblu). We do not know much about the, as they came during the ending of the manga, but they are now narehates and they are crazy, honestly. They used to be together, had this sort of bond as they searched the abyss but now they have lost absolute humanity. All that remains is the whole thing with value, (like when Belafu buys Mitty from Bondrewd and Nanachi sells herself to buy Mitty, but now Belafu has both Mitty and Nanachi). These three sages only come out when the village is in absolute danger and it's kind of sad to see them not care about much after seeing them in Vueko's flashbacks (ahh Vueko).

The concept surrounding value really makes you think what is valuable and what isn't, and in the end you realise two things - value depends from person to person and they all really don't matter to the universe, but nevertheless it matters so deeply to each individual. How does anything matter? It matters to us personally, and that is enough. But it is important to understand the essence of these values because we often might be wasting our time or are desperate about something we love, like when Nanachi sold herself even when there probably was a better solution.

That's it for now. When the manga update comes I'll probably talk (talk? More like rant) about the cradle of greed.

TL;DR: Made in abyss is brilliant.

[jediwanderer]

Game of Thrones thoughts and opinions.

Overall I was very satisfied with the episode. There will be spoilers so you know scroll past.

The season not so much but hey ho.

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Dany

We completed her journey as a conqueror queen this episode by having her stand high above everyone else, once again "join me or die" as she gives her best dictator speech. You could see in her face she was loving the attention and power she had. The symbolism was very Nazi for me, the blind devotion to commit horror. I wasn't surprised she was killed off so easily. Although I did cry a bit when it was Jon who killed her. The scene with Drogon broke my heart, he needs a hug and thank Goddess that ugly chair is now gone. Too many people lost their lives for that chair.

Tyrion's speech about Dany was satisfying to me, as I felt it was addressed to the fans who believe her madness has come from nowhere. "We cheered her on because they were bad men" which is true, we were blinded to her horror because she had "no choice." It was only when she stopped being the hero did we see her in a true light. As Arya said: "I know a killer when I see one".

Am I sad Dany died?

Of course, she was a a survivor of abuse and rape who rose above what tried to harm her, who saved thousands of slaves but who ultimately lost herself in the dream that was never truly hers.

R.I.P Dany.

Jon

Jon has none stopped annoyed me this season, his indecisiveness and weakness for Dany has truly been a cause of frustration.

Don't get me wrong, I have shipped Jon and Dany for years, but I feel like they were toxic to each other. Dany was too controlling, asking him to lie to his family so SHE could still be Queen. Even though that problem would have been solved through marriage.

It broke my heart seeing Jon come to the realisation that Dany was a bad person, it broke my heart when he came to the realisation of he had accepted his place as king children wouldn't be dead in the streets. However he can't turn back time. No one can. If he couldn't act then he didn't deserve the title.

I loved how scene with Tyrion, it's good to see Tyrion speaking sense again and that little throw back to Maester Aemon. "Love is the death of duty" which has always been the case for Jon Snow. I think of Sansa and Arya weren't at risk he would have followed through with Dany's plan.

I'm glad he went beyond the wall, reunited with ghost. He needs to stay away from women and have an epic road trip with Tormund while they co-parent Ghost.

Sansa

I've loved Sansa from the beginning, it's always annoyed me that people cheered for Dany who was killing people but scorned Sansa for learning to lie to protect herself from abuse. Being a murderer and a strong female character do not go hand in hand. That being said Sansa's hands aren't clean either.

I loved her this season, she has one goal and that is to protect her family and secure the north. It's a contrast to her season one self who wanted to be Queen of the seven kingdoms, Sansa doesn't even want to be Queen anymore she wants Jon to lead them.

Her scene with Edmure made me giggle, I aspire to that level of cool shade.

Sansa being made Queen in the North has been a theory that I've believed in for a while, I'm so happy it's finally happened. She will be a good queen.

Arya

Again really loved her this season, I'm all about my Stark siblings being their for each other. I half expected Arya to be the one to kill Dany. I think it was poetic in a way Arya got to see through Dany's destruction what a life of revenge brings you.

To quote Master Yoda:

"anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering and suffering leads to the dark side".

Arya is essentially a serial killer. But like Dany, she had only killed "bad men", however unlike Dany when given the opportunity to kill an innocent Arya refused. So that gives her moral high ground in my opinion.

Im really happy she's gone off to find herself, I hope she has amazing adventures.

Tyrion

Tyrion used to be one of the smartest characters on this show, however since killing his "father" he has been having a lot of error in his judgement. Honestly I'm.not surprised. When has he had time to grieve?

His lover betrayed him, he murdered his "father", his best friend betrayed him, his favourite nephew and niece died, and he was exiled from his home.

Having him make errors is a very human portrayal.

I think having Tyrion be so adament Dany was a good Queen was because he couldn't afford to think otherwise, he'd betrayed his surviving family for her. She had to be the right choice, otherwise what was it all for?

The realisation of the weight of what his done broke my heart, I had a feeling he would die this episode especially when Dany imprisoned him after his dramatic resignation. I'm glad he didn't.

To quote Hamilton:

"death is easy young man, living is harder".

His speech about Dany was my favourite part of the episode, as was his speech about having to be better. The whole Kingsmoot part off the episode was really well done.

It broke my heart when he found Jamie and Cersei.

Bran

I didn't expect him to be King, honestly I'm not fussed either way, it felt like a good end to his story. The broken boy who learnt to fly. Maybe he can tap into the future and learn ways to make Kings Landing more sanitary for the people.

Greyworm

I am so angry he didn't get punished for his war crimes. He got to sail off to the sunset. I've never really cared about his character before, but when he open fired on innocents it made me hate him. Hopefully he gets the disease the butterflies from Na'arth carry.

Few honourable mentions

I loved that scene with the small council, Bron making quips and Sam trying to bring about clean water for the poor. It was nice having a giggle after the heaviness of the beginning.

[annabethisterrified]

Book Review: THE BURNING MAZE (The Trials of Apollo #3) by Rick Riordan

There are no spoilers unless you click ‘Read More’!

California is burning. After shutting down the oraclic sites in New York and Indiana, Apollo (aka Lester Papadapaulos) and Meg McCaffrey team up with Grover Underwood to find the source of the burning maze, a morphed portion of the Labyrinth where the third oracle is trapped. Along the way, they must work with demigods Piper McLean and Jason Grace to figure out how to navigate the twisting, smoldering maze.

But the third emperor of the evil Roman Triumvirate makes Nero and Commodus look pathetic. With the stakes high and their world burning, Apollo and his friends must put out the flames before they devour everything. 

In classic Riordan tradition, this third installment amps up the drama and danger. With dark and mature themes, the lighthearted aspect of this series begins to dwindle away as real consequences and devastating decisions wreak havoc upon Apollo, Meg, Grover, Jason, and Piper. The Burning Maze is a cinematic, heartbreaking adventure that elevates the stakes and leads us to the grittiest part of The Trials of Apollo. Once again, this book proves that this third series is not a spin-off or separate from Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus; The Burning Maze proves that The Trials of Apollo explores the loose ends and lingering fears the first two series laid out. A must-read for any fan of Riordan’s mythological mayhem. Just, uh, grab some tissues first.

SPOILERY COMMENTARY BELOW!

Heyyyy there! So seriously, massive spoilers ahead. You sure about this? Okay. Also, I gotta break this down into chapters. It’ll be the only organized part of this, trust me.

1. That Fun Five Letter Word...Starts with D! 

2. The Devolution of Jasiper

3. Apollo’s Arc

4. What Comes Next...?

5. Miscellaneous Sobbing

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CHAPTER ONE: THAT FUN FIVE LETTER WORD...STARTS WITH D!

I am not okay. Like, really not okay. Granted, I’m writing this review less than thirty minutes after finishing, so maybe I need more time to process what just went down but....damn. Like, my stomach ACTUALLY HURTS. I AM IN PHYSICAL PAIN BECAUSE OF THE CONTENT OF THIS BOOK.

In a good way, you ask?

Uh. It’s hard to say. This book is tricky to review. I’ve had an easy, breezy time describing my feelings for all the PJO, HoO, and ToA books prior. But in The Burning Maze...everything changes. 

For years, a lot of us on here have lamented the fact that we felt Riordan’s books have lacked a degree of consequence. On the rare occasion that he did kill a character, he brought them back-- Jason in The Lost Hero, Hazel, Leo...I could go on. 

And it’s not that we’re bad people who want to watch our favorites perish! We just...well, if you keep bringing back dead characters, we start to lose the fear that a character’s death should instill.

I guess he heard us, then.

Because if you’ve read this book, you understand too-- there isn’t anything bringing Jason back. This was real. Final. (In his own words!) And that kind of hurts. A lot. But at the same time, as heartbroken and sick as I feel, this is what we’ve been asking for for a long time-- something that reminds us of what’s at stake. 

Something, I suppose, to make us remember that. (See what I did there?)

Now, I’ll talk more about this in Chapter Two because I have a lot of confused feelings, but I for one, when it was announced that Piper and Jason would be in this book, assumed it would be a joint arrival, if that makes sense? I wasn’t expecting the two of them to be starkly and individually portrayed and explored...and yeah, I gotta wait til the next section to talk about this. Back to Jason’s demise.

And yeah, this was spoiled for me. And yeah, it was my own fault, so don’t feel bad for me. Still, I didn’t know HOW or WHY he would die, so there was plenty of heartbreak for me to uncover along the way. I was mentally steeling myself for the first 300 pages of this book, dreading what I knew was coming, crying at nearly every scene he was in (which frankly, wasn’t many scenes!) and basically losing my damn mind remembering ceaselessly all the times we’ve had over the past what? EIGHT YEARS? Since Lost Hero came out? I’ve loved Jason since The Lost Hero...since I was TWELVE. I am now TWENTY. I watched him grow. I waited impatiently every year for the next HoO book to release. I watched him fall in love with Piper and expand his loyalties and grow stronger and wiser and end up with such a fitting duty-- pontifex maximus.

And today, eight years later, I watched it all get ripped away. 

And I’m torn, because I think in a dark way, this is an absolutely tragically beautiful arc for Riordan to explore and utilize in ToA. I think it was a long overdue and necessary decision that clarifies the real danger our characters should have been exposed to much earlier. 

But I really thought he was going to be okay after Blood of Olympus. I thought our Seven were safe. I had already imagined and accepted what their lives were going to be like-- I had imagined he and Piper’s kids, his job as pontifex maximus, everything that was going to unfold for him... I thought the great tragedy of his long, happy life was going to be not growing old with his sister, Thalia. 

And it was hard to have him brought back into the action just for half of a book, just to get killed so gruesomely, so violently...without even getting to say goodbye, a fact that Piper and Leo later lament. So am I outraged at this writing decision? Or simply as a loyal reader? I think it’s the latter. I am angry for Jason and the friends he left behind, but I also deeply respect this writing decision. It’s a weird balance, and my thoughts will likely evolve as I have more time to digest.

I don’t feel good thoughts about this book, but that’s not a negative on the story. I think Riordan knocked it out of the park. That doesn’t diminish the dread and devastation I feel as a reader who has loved Jason for eight years. As a reader who had happiness for Jason’s future, and as a reader who really, truly, thought it would happen. 

Then again, isn’t that the whole point? Demigods are never, ever safe. And now Apollo will always remember what it is to be human, because Jason did such a goddamn noble job of it. 

I’m proud of that boy, and deeply sorry for him. I’m gutted. I’ll miss him terribly. I just hope this arc is further explored and resonates in the final two books in this saga. I just hope it wasn’t for nothing, but I know it won’t be. 

Don’t get me fucking started on 

Coach Hedge: “I was his protector.”

Leo: “Where’s Jason?”

Goodbye, please see Chapter Five for more screaming!

CHAPTER TWO: THE DEVOLUTION OF JASIPER

Ironically, this somehow hurts me just as much as Jason’s death? Like...okay. Let me think of how I can articulate this, because I’m feeling a lot of things. 

First off, I (unlike many of us bloggers here) genuinely loved Jason’s character and his romantic pairing with Piper right from the get-go. It clicked for me. It really resonated, and I was fully supportive. I loved the strange dynamic of having this fake foundation, and watching it develop (seemingly) into something real-- something unique and strong, a soaring romance worthy for a daughter of Aphrodite. 

We didn’t see it happen on-page, but they were an official couple by The Mark of Athena and I was behind it 100%. They had rough patches that I guess were indicative of future problems, but they were easily swept aside by the larger importance of surviving their Argo 2 mission. I loved their tender, intimate moments in The House of Hades and The Blood of Olympus.

Truly.

So I was confused when they were broken up (again, something we don’t see happen on-page) in The Burning Maze. And being from Apollo’s perspective, we of course will never fully understand why this happened. 

Now again, I have to deal between looking at this from two perspectives. Am I upset at the author’s decision, or just as a really-passionate Jasiper shipper? Of course, my immediate thought was that one of them had broken it off to protect the other, probably thinking “oh fuck if one of us is gonna die in the maze, maybe I should break this off to avoid future pain”. But then jason goes and tells apollo that it was PIPER that broke it off well before the burning maze was even a thing and i’m like WATTTTTT

I’m still like WHATTTTTTT

So, I wait for Piper to have her heart-to-heart with Apollo. (Listen, I fucking LOVE Piper in this book. What a badass motherfucker. Holy fuck.) And I’m expecting her to give a concrete, selfless reason for breaking things off with Jason.

I wasn’t expecting her to have fallen out of love with him.

But the more Piper explained herself, the more I realized that I was just the type of secondhand observer that Piper had started to resent. Apollo put it succinctly: “Your relationship was born in crisis.” 

It really was-- beyond Hera’s meddling and Aphrodite’s hyperfixation, these kids were also in WAR MODE. That’s enough to stress anyone out. I hadn’t really stopped to consider what Piper was dealing with, as a daughter of the love goddess. How everyone expected her to have everything romantic figured out. To have a love story to rival Percy and Annabeth’s. How her first love must be the love of her life.

And the whole world-- and the whole pantheon-- was watching them and expecting it. Judging them, all the time. 

Like, yeah, girl. That’s a lot. I think I get why Piper did it, even if it broke my heart. That being said, I do wish that if Jason had lived, they eventually would’ve made their way back to each other and fallen in love for real.

But Piper was right. She deserved to forge her own identity, even with the world restraining her constantly. I wish I knew exactly where her feelings for him stood, but at least we know with certainty that she always considered him her closest friend. She clearly loved him so much, more than anyone-- even if it was a different type of love than the one they first shared.

Just because she’s Aphrodite’s daughter doesn’t mean she should have to fall in love so dramatically and eternally. That isn’t fair for her. Her first remark to Grover was cutting and clear-- Jason and Piper were never like Percy and Annabeth. 

And this is still hard for me to stomach, since I love(d) them together, but I am glad Riordan is exploring the much more realistic aspect to relationships. As someone in a long-term relationship, I can empathize with Piper’s fears. The world always wants couples to be “Percabeth”-- together forever, utterly known to each other. 

But the reality is, most couples are nothing like Percabeth. And that’s okay-- that’s normal, and as sad as that is, at least it was acknowledged and addressed and explored. 

It took away some of the sting of Jason’s death that I’d been anticipating. I thought maybe there would be some last-minute confessional, some last tender moment between them. There wasn’t. He was torn away so fast. 

I’m devastated that Piper has to live on without him. But she has her father, Hedge and Millie, Leo...she’ll be okay. She’s a fighter. Always was. 

It’s hard to see one of Riordan’s hallmark couples fall apart in a way you don’t expect. But I can’t say it’s not realistic, and it’s kind of relieving to see one of his romances take on the tough stuff and not fall into a sweeping, encompassing romance that is usually unrealistic. 

CHAPTER THREE: APOLLO’S ARC

YEESSSSS RIORDAN DONE GOOD ON THIS PART

Apollo’s narration and character has finally developed into someone I can truly empathize and sympathize with. As cool as it would’ve been to see some of these scenes from other character’s points of view, I was really happy to read through Apollo’s eyes. I love love love where his character is going.

God....him referring to Jason as ‘brother’...his obvious care for Meg...it got me good. I’ve always liked Apollo as a narrator, but this is the first book where I LOVED IT. He’s set on a good path! He’s still funny, thank goodness, but there’s also a darker, wiser grace to him now that gives the story a more serious edge that will definitely help the books moving forwards.

I can’t believe he tried to kill himself to save the others. Ugh. What a guy. 

Love him!

That is all.

CHAPTER FOUR: WHAT COMES NEXT...?

So, I did a big happy dance when the next prophecy was revealed....REYNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE REYNA OH MY GOD WE GET A WHOLE BOOK WITH HER I’M PSYCHED FOR THE TYRANT’S TOMB 

But beyond REYnA!!!!! and Camp Jupiter????? I don’t really know what to expect for this fourth installment. I imagine we’re going to Delphi for the final book, but sticking to the Bay Area for The Tyrant’s Tomb??? 

I’m like...extremely apprehensive because a lot of people are predicting that Apollo and Reyna are gonna fall in love?????????????????????? like what with her final prophecy: no demigod shall heal your heart

umm. first off, reyna could do WAY better. But like...is this actually gonna happen? UHHHHH????? Guess I have a full year to think on this one hmmm

CHAPTER FIVE: MISCELLANEOUS SOBBING

soooooo i’m like kinda numb kinda devastated kinda in love with this book kinda wanna throw it against a wall

Like, okay, I recognize that as an author Riordan did an excellent job writing this book and I am so excited to see what goes down next.

BUT ALSO I HAD BEEN IMAGINING THIS DREAMY REUNION SCENE BETWEEN LEO/PIPER/JASON AND THEN IT HAPPENED EXCEPT JASON WAS IN A COFFIN??????????????????????????????????????????? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ALSO CANNOT BELIEVE PIPER IS MOVING TO OKLA-FUCKING-HOMA i mean actually I’m really happy that she’s finding her roots and that she’s taking some well-deserved family time and that coach hedge is with her but also I WISH SHE WAS WITH HER CHB AND CF FRIENDDDSSS

at least it’s kinda close to Indianapolis?

jesus christ

Anyway, I really loved Piper in this book-- my queen, my crush, my...oh my god i just love her she’s a fantastic character and i really hope she’ll come back somehow for the final battle

I’m also happy that Grover gets to go back to CHB and see Percy and Annabeth again! Yay!!! And I’m happy that Camp Jupiter hasn’t burned down to the ground yet! Yay!!!!!

In conclusion, I will grieve Jason Grace forever. But damn, what a book. See you next spring, demigods. 

PLEASE MESSAGE ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS IF YOU’VE READ TBM I NEED TO CRY MORE

[coffeebooksorme]

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi Review

GOODREADS SYNOPSIS:  Zélie Adebola remembers when the soil of Orïsha hummed with magic. Burners ignited flames, Tiders beckoned waves, and Zelie’s Reaper mother summoned forth souls. But everything changed the night magic disappeared. Under the orders of a ruthless king, maji were targeted and killed, leaving Zélie without a mother and her people without hope. Now, Zélie has one chance to bring back magic and strike against the monarchy. With the help of a rogue princess, Zélie must outwit and outrun the crown prince, who is hell-bent on eradicating magic for good. Danger lurks in Orïsha, where snow leoponaires prowl and vengeful spirits wait in the waters. Yet the greatest danger may be Zélie herself as she struggles to control her powers—and her growing feelings for the enemy.

After receiving an eARC of the first six chapters of this book, I knew it was going to be one of my top 2018 reads. This book has everything I want from a fantasy novel: action, adventure, strong female leads, magic. I was not disappointed. I was, however, surprised by how they were delivered and by whom. I went into this book assuming certain characters would be my favorites only to end with totally different ones. 

I love this book for a lot of reasons but I also really...disslike certain parts of this book. There’s wishy washyness to some characters, to the point that I really wanted to reach into the book and smack them so hard their heads spun. There’s instalove that’s so insta that I rolled my eyes so hard I saw the back of my brain. But beneath all of that, this book was stunningly written, wonderful told, and set in such a rich world that I am so ready to read the sequel.

I’m going to put the rest of my review under a cut because it’s going to be both wordy and spoiler-y so read at your own discretion!

I went into this book expecting Zélie to be my favorite character. She’s headstrong, mouthy, badass, and a fighter to the core, at least for the first part of the book. Then, of course, a guy enters the picture, shows her a bit of attention and all of that sort of falls to the wayside. She’s known to make bad decisions, that’s part of her character, but as soon as Inan shows her attention, she makes monumentally bad decisions. Honestly, I don’t even understand why she developed feelings for him other than he’s physically attractive. I cannot for the life of me pinpoint why she fell for him. 

Her journey through this book is just breath taking. Her and her Scooby gang go through a lot. There is no pause to the action. She is literally beaten, tortured, and broken throughout this book and yet at the end she stands up and still fights. Despite her stupid decisions with Inan, which annoyed me greatly, she’s a great character and her story is wonderfully rich and so well done. I even teared up at the end when she got to see her mama again. I cannot wait to read more about her.

Inan. Sigh. He’s a fucking coward. Like, I do not like this dude one bit. I understand that he’s a victim of abuse from his asshole father but I really, truly do not like Inan as a character. Duty before self is his mantra for the first half of the book and I totally got that. He’s raised to be his father’s heir, he’s the Prince of Orïsha, blah blah blah. Manifesting maji powers doesn’t even make him question his whole mantra and line of thinking. Kill her. Kill magic. That’s his other mantra. He’s determined to do his father’s bidding despite being one of the ‘maggots’ his father despises so much. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that his father would kill him where he stood if he discovered Inan’s maji powers. One minute he’s determined to kill Zélie  and thus kill magic just so his father won’t find out, and the next he thinks the damn man will change! MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND!

The only thing that changes his mind (or at least you think it does) is Zélie and her sea salt smelling soul (If I had to read one more time of how her soul smelled like the sea, I’d have probably thrown up). His power allows him to see into her mind and thus see the pain she suffered by seeing her maji mother dragged through the streets and strung up in a tree with a chain. Only then does he even question any of his or his fathers’ motives. He’s known about his father’s atrocities for his entire life, has even participated in some, and only NOW he has a change of heart? And that’s about the only thing that makes him fall for Zélie. It’s insta pity love. IT’S PITY LOVE! FUCK THAT SHIT!

I could have looked past all that if Inan had just stuck to it but nooooo. Homeboy flips back and forth throughout the whole damn book. One minute he wants to help the rebellion, one minute he doesn’t want to bring magic back because OMG IT COULD BE SO DANGEROUS (as if his father’s guards raping, pillaging, and murdering innocent folks isn’t dangererous), and then he’s convinced he can talk sense into his father that the maji are “just like us and that he can learn to be a better man.” What really pissed me off about his character is how he completely turns his back on Zélie, who has just been literally tortured and BROKEN by her father, not to mentioned fucking MARKED with the ‘maggot’ slur,and decides for himself that ‘No, magic can’t come back. It’s too dangerous’ and fucking BETRAYS Zélie, his sister, and all the innocent maji that his father has beaten down for years and years. OH! AND HE FUCKING BRINGS HER BABA INTO IT, WHICH RESULTS IN HIS FUCKING DEATH!! Why? Because the maji deigned to stand up and fight back for their freedom, but no, Mr. Inan Smarty Pants thinks betraying all those people, his sister, and the girl he loves to his fucking dictator of a father is a great fucking plan to save his country because heaven forbid the maji have their gods given right to magic. 

Piss on Inan. I hope he fucking dies in a fire in the next book.

Amari is my favorite, surprisingly enough. She starts off as this sequestered princess who kowtows to her witch of a mother. She’s timid, she’s quiet, and she doesn’t make waves. But, oh ho, she so does! She’s a badass warrior princess, The Lionaire, and she is my motherfucking QUEEN! She may have been sheltered but she learns, she empathizes, and she takes every action imaginable to try and right the wrongs of her father and her inaction for so many years. She is everything I want in a female character and I love her to pieces.

It was set up for Inan to be the warrior and Amari to be the princess, but Amari turned out to be the warrior while Inan was crying and begging for his father’s forgiveness on the floor like a cowardly ass. I screamed SO LOUD at the end when Amari took up her sword and killed her father. Her last words to him were fucking EPIC and I want a whole damn book of Amari’s badassery!

I have to say that Tomi did an amazing job with the juxtaposition of Orïsha and our world. The comparisons in certain scenes was just...jaw dropping. There were several parts of the book where you could tell it was directly influenced by the real world (classism, colorism, police brutality, etc) and it was so surreal to see that in fantasy fiction. It was amazingly well done, beautifully written, and just downright heart breaking. I’m glad this book took the political stand it did because I think a lot of readers (especially fantasy readers who don’t delve into contemporary novels that talk about these issues) really need to see those view points. It hits home hard.

I loved the influence of Nigerian culture as well. Every few pages I was Googling terms I wasn’t familiar with and it was so much fun to learn about the dress and food of another culture. The descriptions of clothing painted such a beautiful image in my mind. It was so seamless the way Tomi added those little touches that I didn’t feel as if I was being taught something at the expense of the plot, but at the same time I didn’t feel like a dumb foreigner because she was able to explain some things in such an easy going manner that it felt so damn natural. It felt flawless, easy, and I loved it.

I NEED A PRONUNCIATION GUIDE! I butcher words horrifically. The bestie can tell you. I’m constantly on my Dictionary.com app listening to how things are pronounced. I really feel as if a guide with pronunciations of names/places would have been super helpful for someone like me. 

All in all, this book is EPIC! The cover is gorgeous, the binding is exquisite, and the story inside goes above and beyond all expectations. I cannot wait to read the sequel.